A Map for the Amarr/Minmatar Warzone (with a Guide to Its Inhabitants on the comments)
Red Sky Morning [RSM], a ballad
Oh, CDLoon, you enigmatic soul, Whose words are smooth, but actions cold. You promised access, a haven from strife, But turned your back on your allies in life.
Three years CTRLV defended your walls, Fought off foes and answered your calls. But when the shadow of BIGAB loomed near, You cast them aside, your loyalty unclear.
"Too much non-FW heat," A-M-R did declare, As if war and structures could never share. Docking they had, yet access denied, A backstabbing gesture, a friendship defiled.
Now that CTRLV is kill far from Huola's embrace, The trust in A-M-R forever erased. While you, CDLoon, sit smug in your nest, Reaping the rewards of a loyalty test.
But remember this, oh master of deceit, Betrayal's a poison, bitter and sweet. The seeds of discord you sow at your own cost, For trust once broken, is forever lost.
So keep your Sosala, your structures of greed, For loyalty's worth more than any material need. And learn from this tale, CDLoon, if you can, That true allies are rare, and should never be banned.
Dishwater Hooligans [BIGAB]
So, there you have it. The Deepwater Hooligans: a small, indy alliance clinging to the fringes of the New Eden cluster. Don't let their bluster fool you. They're nothing but a bunch of harmless (and slightly delusional) industrialists who are more likely to be found arguing about mining yields than actually posing any real threat. So, the next time you hear their name, don't be afraid. Just chuckle, roll your eyes, and carry on with your day. After all, the Deepwater Hooligans are nothing more than a minor blip on the radar of New Eden. They're outmatched, outgunned, and frankly, out of their depth. Yet, they persist, their delusional self-confidence somehow intact even after being mercilessly stomped into the ground by every other team they face.
Minmatar Fleet Alliance [FL33T]
FL33T. The asshole of Minmatar FW. 700 docked up pilots eager to pay absurd taxes to their corps just to be near the most asshole FCs in Minmatar FW to gobble on their nuts. FL33T. 700 docked up pilots who leave frontlines uncontested for the enemy (or should I say ALLIES nowadays?) to flip because they rather do some structure bashes that have jack shit to do with FW. FL33T. May or may not ship scan you first before they AWOX you because THEY decide who is eligible for LP in this game. Yes, join FL33T. Crawl inside the asshole. BECOME the asshole.
Curatores Veritatis Alliance [CVA]
Yet, I see you, the "Curatores Veritatis," standing at a safe distance in Providence, peering at the battle through your telescopes like tourists on a safari. You send your drones to skirmish, your ships to probe, but rarely do you risk your big assets in the thick of the Faction Warfare fray. And your name! "Curatores Veritatis," the "Guardians of Truth"... Is that not a tad...pompous for a group who spends more time reading about war than waging it themselves? Perhaps a more fitting moniker would be "Spectatores Bellandi" or even "Peregrinatores Praeliorum." But fear not, if you don't come to the content, the content will come for you!
Ushra'Khan [UNITY]
Ushra'Khan, the seasoned veterans of EVE Online, proudly flaunt their status as the oldest alliance in the game. But let's face it, age is just a number. Some say Ushra'Khan is stuck in a time warp, clinging to tactics and doctrines as outdated as dial-up internet. They're the "grandpa" of alliances, reminiscing about the "good old days" while the rest of EVE zips past them. Imagine them as the lovable, but slightly slow, dinosaurs of EVE: big and impressive, but not quite as nimble as their younger counterparts. Their strategies might be predictable, their ships a bit rusty, and their leadership might spend more time coding in vanilla ASP for EvE Pandora than anything else. Whispers abound that a staggering 50% of the Bleak Lands' economy is actually UNITY thrasher handouts to Amarr spies.
The Amarr Militia. [A-M-R]
Oh, mighty The Amarr Militia. Those brave keyboard warriors who spend their days mining asteroids and roleplaying as space knights. They talk a big game, boasting about their loyalty to the Empire and their dedication to camping Auga X in frigates. But what happens when they actually face a real challenge? They crumble faster than a sandcastle in a hurricane. Just take a look at their recent defeat in Arzad. Those MINMIL upstarts rolled right over them, leaving them crying in "not enough capacitor" into their froot loops. Let's face it, A-M-R are just a bunch of nerds who wouldn't know the business end of a blaster from the pointy end.
420 ninja assassin turbo virgin 300 [JUTSU]
Deep within the Amamake system, cloaked in shadows and shrouded in mystery, lies the JUTSU alliance. These enigmatic spacefarers, like their namesakes, are masters of stealth and cunning... until a contract drops in Jita. Whether they're piloting sleek interceptors through asteroid fields like black phantoms tackling Ventures, or hiding in their Amamake Keepstar like a hermit crab in a stolen shell, JUTSU always manages to keep everyone guessing.
Empyrean Edict [EDICT]
Empyrean Edict, sometimes delusional about their own power and importance, provides a perfect example of hubris with their recent attempt to hold the Aldodan constellation. Grab some popcorn and watch this train wreck unfold. Empyrean Edict strutted into Aldodan like they owned the place, demanding tribute and respect from the locals. They inflated their numbers, boasted about their skill, and threatened anyone who dared question their authority. However, the reality was that no one in MINMIL could be bothered to make the six jumps from Auga to fight them there. When their flimsy hold on Aldodan inevitably crumbled, Empyrean Edict resorted to a recurring Amarrian tactic: blaming everyone else. They cried about "uncooperative allies," "overwhelming odds," and "dastardly tactics," refusing to take any responsibility for their own failures. Now they reside in the Gallente Empire, hoping for a MINMIL re-stage to Kamela so they can take Siseide without interference.
Dragon Ride
Alleged RMT Farmers. Awoxers. Scum. Next slide.
In the desolate reaches of the Eugidi constellation, where stars twinkle like distant teardrops and pirates lurk like shadows, works Dragon Ride. This "illustrious" group, masters of both awoxing and farming, are renowned for their unique... approach to Faction Warfare. They pledge allegiance to both Amarr and Minmatar, not out of loyalty, but with the cunning of double-agents, their true allegiance resting solely with their own insatiable greed. Their days are spent flitting between the two factions, reaping rewards from both sides while awoxing unsuspecting farmers who toil tirelessly to fuel the war machine. But The Dragon Guys are not just awoxers, they are also masters of the "art" of farming. They exploit every loophole, every pixel of grey area in the game with the tenacity of a cockroach in a nuclear winter, some say for even darker reasons. For all their "success," The Dragon Guys remain shrouded in a cloak of infamy. Let them feast upon their ill-gotten gains, their laughter echoing through the emptiness of space. For in the end, their true legacy will be not one of victory, but of shame. History will remember them as nothing more than a band of toxic parasites, forever cursed to walk the desolate path they have chosen.
